Big Issues and Church Collide

So our mate who sells the Big Issue in our upper-class suburb turned up at church for the second time on Sunday. The first time, he sat down next to me, listened a bit, talked to me a bit, then got uncomfortable and left. This time, he sat down for a couple of minutes before telling me he wanted to stay, but couldn't - he needed to talk.

We went outside, and he told me that he was facing the possibility of getting kicked out of his unit, and he was worried about himself and (maybe more important to him) his cat. His unit means a lot to him, as does the cat. So we talked, had a cup of coffee, and sold a couple of copies of the Big Issue. Then I had to leave, and he probably went to the pub.

Now what?

I Want to be a CLONE

One of the greatest joys - and maybe greatest influences, too - of my early Christian life was a singer by the name of Steve Taylor. If you're OLD (30-40), you might have heard of him. Many of his songs took a gentle (or sometimes not-so-gentle) jab at contemporary Christianity. Some of them were aimed at secular life. He liked to point out the foibles and failings of modern life in a humourous way... and I still love his music. He's still around, but he's no longer recording his own music. Sigh. Oh well, people don't HAVE to consult me before changing their careers... I guess.

So anyway... I was wandering through netland and came across this fantastic little gem. It's live footage of my hero himself, singing my favourite song... the timeless "I Want To Be A Clone".

Guilt

Ever noticed that you're feeling guilty for not being on a spiritual high?

As though christian life was about the 'thrill' times, and if you're having trouble feeling God's presence and consciously letting him work through you, there's something significantly wrong with you?

PS.

I meant to mention that my body's not really appreciating the huge rise and fall in hormone levels that's swept through it in the last couple of weeks. Today I'm feeling better than I have in weeks, and I'm still ready to crawl under my desk and sleep. So if my blogs don't get updated... you have an insider's knowledge as to WHY! :-)

Update on a Weird Month

I've finally gotten around to making an update.

In all honesty, I've been avoiding this, because I haven't been quite sure what was going on and how I felt about it - which makes it difficult to communicate anything!

As far as ministry goes... well, I'm still getting to know people in the neighbourhood, and the gentleman who sells the Big Issue in our suburb actually turned up at church for 5-10 minutes before getting uncomfortable and leaving. I guess that's a step in the right direction? At least one person made a point of visiting him at his usual spot, mentioning that they saw him at church and buying a magazine, so hopefully that's helped.

Personal life... oh boy. First, a little bit of background info... hubby and I have been trying for children for a couple of years now. Result at the start of the year? 1 pregnancy, 1 miscarriage, 15 months of nothing and God saying to me, "It's not going to happen this year". OK, I could cope with that. I ditched the ovulation tracking and immersed myself in work, church and outside-church-ministry. April was the first month, though, that I managed the mammoth feat - I managed to completely forget where in my cycle I was. I was quite impressed with my feat until I noticed that I'd been feeling tired, nauseous and headachey - not to mention full of weird pains - for a couple of weeks. I tested - very very faint positive. Hmmmm. I showed it to hubby that night, in case I'd been imagining things. Nope - he agreed with me. Hmmmmmm. That night, I started bleeding. Sigh. In other words, yes I was pregnant... and no, I'm not anymore.

So this has got me wondering what exactly God's trying to tell me. See, I was fairly sure that God was in control when it came to those 18 months since the last miscarriage. I often felt him saying "Not yet", so not getting pregnant didn't really bother me on anything but an emotional level. But now - was that another 'not yet'? Was it a 'get ready'? Or was it just one of those seemingly-random sad things that happens in a fallen world? I'm puzzled... and I feel like treading water for a while till I can figure it out. Unfortunately, the world's moving on regardless... so I guess I'll just have to see what happens.