Punk Meets Salvo

OK, maybe it's just the latest hairdo, but I saw this photo in the latest On the Scene and loved it...

Black and purple

As you might notice (if you've been visiting this new blog), I'm slowly getting round to changing the colour scheme to something a little less.... PINK. Or, I might just use the StreetWar template and change the colours a bit.

Anyway, the colours - black and purple - are highly significant atm. They're the current colours of my hair. Short (5mm?) black hair over most of my head, with a 6-7cm wide bright purple, slightly longer, spiky swathe down the middle. Why? Well, in all honesty, I get bored with my reflection at times. Coloured hair is like short-term wearable art to me. And OK, so a purple mini-mohawk isn't that original... but it's fun.

Underneath the Veneer

Updates from the Front Line: Underneath the Veneer
I figure linking to my posts on the StreetWar blog is the best way of making sure that people who're trying to keep up with me, can do so easily.

OW

This is just a quick post to let y'all know... I HURT.

My calf and back muscles have started cramping, joined by some abdominal muscles. And when I say 'cramping' I mean 24/7 'we're gonna pull ourselves so tight you could play music on us'. I don't know why. I thought of a potassium or magnesium deficiency... well I'm dosed up on potassium now, at least, and it hasn't helped. It could possibly be a magnesium or calcium deficiency, though.

Any other ideas? Maybe this is another of God's cryptic clues. If so, he is in SOOOOO much trouble once I get to heaven!!!

Musical Genius

Nah, not really. Musical genius I aint. For one thing, my fingers don't co-ordinate anywhere near easily enough. For another, I don't have a perfect ear. Despite these limitations, I decided to learn guitar. So I researched away, then searched the internet, emailed various shops, and finally settled on a 'bargain' Segovia acoustic guitar. Solid top, steel strings, good quality machine heads, lots of pretty inlay, free gig bag. All well and good, but then I had to learn to play the thing. It looks kinda nice just sitting around outta the gig bag, but I could've just bought a cardboard cutout and painted it up if that's all I wanted it for. Well, the first few (self-given) lessons were atrocious. No volume control, buzzes, squawks and various other unmelodious noises. But I'm slowly getting the hang of it. A month later and I can pick out tunes like Greensleeves and Scarborough Fair... and even play some songs along with the CD that came with the instruction book. I have genuine callouses on the fingers of my left hand. I've just bought a couple of new instruction books for the next part of the learning curve... chords. ARGH. Know how I said my fingers don't co-ordinate easily? Chords require a lot of LEFT hand co-ordination. Sigh. But I think back to a month ago and realise I felt much the same dread starting the last instruction book... and OK, I'm bound to gain some extra callouses (which require PAIN), but it'll be worth it in the end. PS. There's a life lesson in there somewhere. I couldn't be bothered drawing it out, but feel free to expostulate on it yourself in the comments area, if you so desire :-)

Married Women's ghetto RANT

This article seems to made some waves - mostly good ones in my experience - in the online SA community. Here's a link if you have no idea what I'm talking about - Married Women's ghetto RANT. Carole mentions it on her site - there's a bit of discussion there. Well, I'm very careful about debating or even discussing issues which I have no immediate interest in doing something about (sort of a 'put up or shut up' arrangement with myself). THIS issue, though, is one very close to my heart. So, I thought I'd add to my blog a response I gave on a Salvo group/mailing list yesterday.

Just a few words first, though... Danielle Strickland has a little part of my heart all to herself, because she turned up with short hair, a different surname to her husband's, a child, and a discussion on women's place in the Salvation Army, right at a time when I needed the encouragement to be me, regardless of the mutterers. I'm sure she has no idea who on earth I am, and that's fine. I don't need a place in her heart in return!

Whewwww!!! I'm not sure whether I'm more refreshed or frustrated from reading that article. Refreshed, because it's nice to hear someone speaking similar thoughts to mine. Frustrated, because I still hold in my head some idealistic thoughts about the Salvation Army and its leadership. Because _I've_ never had to deal with being 'suppressed' (not a good word, but it'll do) in my ministry because of my gender - even in the Lutheran church as a kid, or for that matter in any workplace - I guess I tend to assume that it will never be a problem for me... that the problem must lie in part with the women of the Salvation Army for willingly taking the backseat roles whatever their giftings.

Deep down, I've always assumed that if I became an officer, I had as good a chance as any man to become General. Hmmmm... maybe I should apply for officership and find out!

Thanks & Encouragement

I figured I should throw in a thankyou to a few people -

• First, to the people who've been reading this blog for months and leaving kind, encouraging comments now and then. You've blessed me with your love and care.
• Second, to Bec, a friend who found this blog and with her comments inspired me to restart blogging when I hadn't felt like writing a word for months. Thanks, darl :-)

God made us to need encouragement and help from each other... I think we're strongest when we realise this and harness it.

MUFHH - Today's Challenge

The goal of my spiritual life is such close identification with Jesus Christ that I will always hear God and know that God always hears me (see John 11:41 ). If I am united with Jesus Christ, I hear God all the time through the devotion of hearing. A flower, a tree, or a servant of God may convey God’s message to me. What hinders me from hearing is my attention to other things. It is not that I don’t want to hear God, but I am not devoted in the right areas of my life. I am devoted to things and even to service and my own convictions. God may say whatever He wants, but I just don’t hear Him. The attitude of a child of God should always be, "Speak, for Your servant hears." If I have not developed and nurtured this devotion of hearing, I can only hear God’s voice at certain times. At other times I become deaf to Him because my attention is to other things— things which I think I must do. This is not living the life of a child of God. Have you heard God’s voice today?
My Utmost for His Highest, 13 February

(well, yesterday's, sort of, but what with timezones and God's global nature... it'll do)

Have I heard God's voice today? No, I don't think so. But then, maybe I'm wrong. At the moment, I'm spending time and effort joining a gym instead of what I'd usually be doing this time of year - scrambling to get into a biblical study course for the semester. I did think about restarting study this semester, but every time I felt God saying a distinct "no, don't do that, you won't have time". Won't have TIME? Oh, Lord, do you really know what you're doing here?

Don't worry, folks, I'm not struggling with a lack of faith there. I'm just a little gobsmacked that he's planning to have me busy. Hmmmm.

Oh... what does this have to do with the gym? Well, I'm fairly sure he wants me getting my physical fitness on track, rather than my mental fitness. Why? He doesn't bother me with those 'little details'. Either I'm wandering off down the road of my own desires, or he's doing something peculiar with my life again.

Life in the Cruisin' Lane

I think I'm still waiting for God to go KABOOM! in my life.

In the meantime... I'm trying desperately to learn the skill of reliability. To all those who have reliability as part of their makeup - you have no idea how hard it is to learn!

So I'm gritting my teeth and turning up to bible study, committing myself to cook dinner for people, offering our (extremely messy atm) house for a church member who's having an accommodation crisis, volunteering to help with someone's newsletter... ARGH. Oh, and committing to research and bring back info on how to put together my prayer tent idea. This is all very scary stuff. On the bright side, half my offers have been gratefully received, but found unnecessary. PHEW. But there are still a number of responsibilities there, including catering for morning tea tomorrow. Oh, and my new assumption of the role of Social Club President at work.

I'm really looking forward to God releasing me from this 9 to 5 job... although I have a sneaking suspicion that once he does, I'll spend more than a few moments looking back at such cruisy times with nostalgia.

Being accountable to church members... this is such a hard lesson to undertake. I don't like it. Every time I make a commitment I feel a deep fear - the fear of failing someone and stuffing everything up for more people than just me. There's a song - by the Newsboys I think?

What if I stumble,
And what if I fall?
What if I lose my step
And make fools of us all?

This is me, now. Nearly paralysed with fear that I'm going to stuff everything up and let everyone down, and bring God's name into disrepute. But I've spent too much time avoiding committing myself to anything major for that exact reason... and now it's time for me to grit my teeth and do it anyway. I'll just have to rely on God to bring good out of the chaos.